Oh my God. I'm the tin dog.
You are viewing the most recent 25 entries.
25th February 2019
Bacon is a FOOD.
Cheese is a CONDIMENT.
Post this conspicuously in your kitchen, add it to your shopping list, and use glass etching fluid to put it on the window of every goddamn restaurant you can reach before you run out or the cheese apologists get you.
10th December 2017
Cry for help
This is embarrassing to relate, but next year I plan to go to my first WorldCon ever, and I don't have enough money for a hotel room. :
I need over a thousand dollars.
My PayPal is firstname.lastname@example.org, if you can throw me something.
Think of it as a Christmas miracle.
3rd December 2017
It occurs to me I've never published this idea, and I think it's the only explanation. :
Dreams do not occur at unthinkably high speed. Dream images occur all over the brain. All the images in a dream occur at the same time, generated by different parts of your cortex. The brain is so made as to require some kind of order, and it assigns times to the images.
I realized this when I learned that you keep having the same dream over and over as you sleep. The dream you have just as you're waking, however, is a lot saner than the one you had shortly after you fell asleep. If you wake with a dream of being in a bubble bath, the dream you had initially was more like swimming in an Olympic-sized pool full of Fizzies.
This is also why the sequence of a waking dream is just about exactly as logical as an episode of Monty Python. The BBC insisted that there be some kind of connection between one segment and the next, so they came up with links that may politely be described as arbitrary. (Or, impolitely, aberrant.) This is what your brain does.
As you have the same dream over and over, your brain keeps fine-tuning the images and connections between them, seeking to render them at least linear, if not altogether rational.
The reason I was able to figure this out has to do with something peculiar about me.
I can do this as an act of will.
That is, I have edit and rewind functions in my dreams. If I don't like content or a sequence I can get a do-over.
What disturbs me about this is that it means that at some level I am always conscious.
I think this is why I can't be hypnotized either.
23rd November 2017
This morning I dropped my roomie Valerie off at the train station, to visit her family for Thanksgiving. The train was nine minutes late. :
IF HILLARY HAD WON THE ELECTION THE TRAINS WOULD RUN ON TIME!
(Of course, people who voted against her would ride in boxcars....)
18th November 2017
13th November 2017
I'm collaborating with Larry Niven again! :
This time it's a story he gave up on fifty years ago because he couldn't get it to work. One good thing came out of it: the aliens he designed later became the Pierson's puppeteers.
We're using different aliens for this.
I designed them, including their evolution.
He thinks they're great.
Think who's saying that, now.
29th October 2017
Q ) How do we know the Joker used to be a biker? :
A ) He still rides a Harley.
20th October 2017
We really should do something nice for the mole for the Republicans who talked Frederica Wilson into wearing those asinine hats. :
15th October 2017
Buy a hearse. :
Get it a good wash and wax.
Put on formal black clothes.
Drive the hearse to a movie theater, park, and conspicuously check your watch while breathlessly asking the ticket seller, "What do you have that's over by six?"
3rd October 2017
The Elephant In The Room...
...is a jackass. :
Specifically the Party that owns the MSM, which is suppressing the fact that the Las Vegas Massacre was carried out by a man who had converted to Islam before buying his illegal weapons.
28th September 2017
Hugh Hefner, age 91, is dead.
The scene is a child's bedroom, many years ago. His mother walks in and says, "Stop staring out the window and get dressed!" :
The boy says, "Why?"
His mother says, "To go to school."
He says, "Why?"
Exasperated, she says, "So you can get a job!"
And he says, "Why?"
And she says, "So you can make money! Nobody ever got rich sitting around in his pajamas and watching girls go by all day!"
And it was then that little Hugh Hefner swore a mighty oath, that SOMEDAY...
RIP Hef, and thanks.
I really did read the articles too.
19th September 2017
TODAY BE TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY! :
It be Doc Pournelle what told me that such a thing be.
12th September 2017
followup to last post
I was finally able to weep.
9th September 2017
Dr. Jerry Pournelle died yesterday. :
He won the Cold War.
21st August 2017
Healthy people should not be allowed into medical school. :
If you're in pain you need to be treated by Greg House.
14th August 2017
11th August 2017
7th August 2017
I just saw somebody fall under a millstone. :
He'll be fine.
AUTHORS: THINKING OF THIS STUFF SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO!
6th August 2017
I have an unusually dirty brain for a Democrat. :
Never been washed.
29th July 2017
THIS JUST IN: :
Cindy Sheehan is STILL an attention whore turning tricks on her son's grave.
The attitude of automatic reverence for *Mothers* is why I was punished every time I tried to report what mine was doing to me. I tried police, teachers, doctors, and a priest. Every last one called her at once, then yanked me around like a rag doll as they lectured me until she showed up.
A doctor broke confidentiality and a priest broke the sanctity of the confessional to report me to my molester.
The League of Women Voters is far more than the effort to subvert the cause of representational democracy, as its title states: it is a criminal conspiracy to prevent the prosecution of 83% of child molesters, the primary molester according to survivors of abuse being the victim's mother in that percentage of cases. A DA who prosecutes too many women doesn't get reelected. Nor does a judge who hears too many cases against women.
The great majority of rape victims are small boys.
Most rapists are women.
Argue with the truth if you have been properly indoctrinated, but the fact remains that what other countries call Stockholm Syndrome we in America call Mother's Day.
14th July 2017
6th July 2017
Heard about the liberal self-driving car? :
IT tells YOU where you want to go...
...but never seems to get there...
...so it blames the people who still know how to drive.
29th June 2017
I added up sales of GODSPAWN and SOUL SURVIVOR, and they come to just under $280. :
This is from LJ posts and people passing the word. Period.
I grind my teeth to think of the dull-wittedness of publishers' marketing departments. You want to sell my books, put me in charge of advertising.
First make sure you're wearing a helmet.
And oxygen gear.
23rd June 2017
Ossoff has learned what Hillary already knew: :
Why Participant stickers are always blue.